A Year with Carmen by Mavis Biesanz

Mavis Biesanz
Scholar, anthropologist, gifted writer and author of many books (last published and a must read: A Year with Carmen), philanthropist, teacher, naturalist, spiritual seeker, animal lover, devoted friend, mother and grandmother….

Remember the time you came over for lunch while my mom was visiting? I was rushing and, at the last minute, I cut some pink bougainvillea branches and laid them down on the table as a centerpiece. Then, just after everyone sat down at the table to eat, to my utter horror, a slew of ants started crawling out from the plant and began wandering around the table. You just calmly shooed them all back into the bracts as if it were perfectly natural to eat lunch with ants on the table.

That’s just like you – making even your hapless hostess feel that all was well in the world. Your big heart shared love like that with everyone around you, from dearest friends and family to all of your beloved Costa Ricans. You never spoke about all the Tico children you surreptitiously supported through University, nor of the many works you carried out to improve the lives of so many. I learned of your generosity in many ways – once, from the local seamstress in Ciudad Colon, who remembers you as the angel who personally provided supplies and money to local impoverished kids, helping them to ‘live the dream’. Another time, a taxi driver spoke of how you ‘adopted’ promising Costa Rican students and helped to educate them all the way through years of school. You never abandoned anyone.

And those of us with the good fortune to have known you personally, how we all gained from your understanding, your compassion, your wisdom and, oh yes, your quick wit - at times your acerbic wit! But only dished out to those who could truly appreciate it! Even now, I can see your eyes, sparkling with affectionate playfulness. There was no greater joy than sitting down with you and feeling like the most important person in the world. That’s how you made everyone feel.

We spent much more time together during my volunteer years. How important you were to me then – in so many ways – gently coaching, sometimes teasing but always encouraging. As the years went by, we saw each other less and less often, you moved from our Ciudad Colon neighborhood to the lovely home that Barry and Sarah built for you in Escazu. Even now, I recall the precious moments we shared together during the full moon gatherings – friends and family everywhere, playing music, singing and merry making – and you sitting near the fireplace, taking your turn with each and every most important person in the world.

Barry told me that he would never let you win at scrabble, not even at the end. You would not have abided it. At the hospital, he gave me a copy of the last book you wrote – A Year with Carmen. Is that you on the cover? What a beauty – like an auburn-haired Reese Witherspoon. I’ve learned a lot more about you from that book. You still speak to me through it. We discuss the gilded cage...how much of it is of our own making? You are the only one who could understand even breaching the topic!

I thought about you again the day after seeing the film, Atonement. That film had me crying like a baby – actually wept throughout most of it.

So much has been left unsaid, unasked, not done. But now I understand, Mavis, why you never invited me into your book club - officially closed to new members. All I ever had to do was ask.
Pax vobiscum